I’m tired of being thrown under the bus…

I’m relatively new to this dad blogging thing and maybe this topic has been covered before, but it is one that I really don’t understand. It seems like the ratio of “you better not say this to your wife”, “things dads should be doing”, or “dumb things dads have said in the delivery room” articles and blog posts  greatly outnumber the ones that men are publishing about their female counterparts. Maybe it is because they truly are our better halves so we have less to complain about or perhaps it’s because we as men are wired to not vocalize any complaints that come to mind. Regardless of the reason I find these tirades berating men to be extremely tiresome and overall damaging to the guys that these women are supposed to love and support.

What is gained by posting up this vitriol? Are a few “Damn right sister! Men are useless pigs!” comments really worth undermining your partner in life? I personally don’t see filling the internet and your own personal blog or website with negativity as a worthwhile endeavor. I completely understand that the internet is a place to freely voice your opinions, joys, failures, and also your frustrations, but could we at least start a constructive dialogue on those topics? I mean venting is all well and good but is simply posting a list that starts like the one below helpful to men? What is the chance that a guy would even click through your entire man hating article to read all of the super insightful and wisdom bearing “marriage tips” you are providing?

man hating blog lists

I understand that sometimes your husband/boyfriend/baby daddy may need a smack upside the head as a reminder to do or not do *fill in the bank*. God knows I require one from time to time and I appreciate it when my wife helps keep me in check. However, I would not be so appreciative of her flaunting all of my flaws on the internet and then extrapolating them so they apply to all men. Hey, my faults may not be his, or that guy over there so why generalize? If you have a problem in your relationship and you want to blow of some steam and solicit advice on how to deal with it then by all means post away! But please don’t belittle me or other guys like me who have worked hard to not fit into a stereotype. We deserve a little respect and if approached in a fair and intelligent way would be more than happy to try and provide some clarity to a “why in the heck did my hubby do that” situation.

I’m not trying to diss on mom bloggers at all. I’m just hoping to point out an area that we could maybe work on together. As dads the last thing we want is to piss off the makers of our little ones. So instead of treating us as brainless Neanderthals how about we have an intelligent back and forth about the things you would like us to improve upon? I for one would appreciate and be flattered by an article that asked for my opinion as opposed to one telling me what I should or should not do to be a better husband/dad/parent.

6 responses to “I’m tired of being thrown under the bus…

  1. This is what good dadblogging is all about. There are a lot of great dads out there who are actively trying to be equal partners in parenthood and marriage.

    Good for you for taking a stand on this issue.

  2. Yes! I agree! I hate reading so many articles that treat dads as selfish, childish, or totally tactless when it comes to their interactions with loved ones. It’s outdated humor, at best. AND as a secondary issue: I am not such a wimpy lady that I can’t handle the truth about things, especially when I’ve asked for the truth. Those articles aren’t doing anyone any favors.

  3. Before I post anything about my husband, or kids for that matter, I think about his feelings first. I always ask him if it’s OK. It’s my site, but it’s our relationship. Thankfully, he’s a good husband and dad and I never have the urge to demean him. I couldn’t imagine parenting without him. Those blogs have their own audience, and it’s obviously not their spouses.

  4. Thanks everyone for your comments! It was the sort of stuff that I wrote about in my post that made me want to start blogging. Just to have another voice out there of a guy who is genuinely interested and involved in all aspects of his family.

  5. Good post. My theory on this is that it is easier to write an entertaining blog and drive traffic with negative commentary. It’s lazy effort. Partner bashing or cheap gender cliches can be dismissed as satire or comedy if it goes too far; but at the end of the day it does little to evolve the definition of the modern dad or mom. I am happy to tackle tough issues and call out poor examples of parenting in my own blog, but I can’t imagine dragging down the most important people in my life. Wouldn’t that just undermine the perspective in my posts?

    • Thanks for the insightful comment Stephen. I couldn’t agree with you more on that last point. Just like the papers and the evening news, negative stories make headlines.

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